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Ich bin 20 Jahre alt. Vor einiger Zeit habe ich meine Leidenschaft für BDSM und Ageplay entdeckt. Dieses Tagebuch ist Teil eines Ageplay-Spiels indem ich eine junge Internatsschülerin bin, die von ihrem strengen Lehrer - Sir Kentwell - erzogen wird. Die Erziehung erfolgt über email, wobei ich die Strafen an mir selbst durchführe. Viel Spaß beim Lesen... Hinweis: Der Inhalt dieser Seite ist für Minderjährige nicht geeignet. Auch jemand, der an der Beschreibung von BDSM-Praktiken Anstoß nimmt, sollte die Seite wieder verlassen.

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Dienstag, 9. Oktober 2007

Oh leider Link kaputt

Gerade funktionierte der Link zu "Little Girl Lost" nicht mehr. Mmh das ist sehr schade, mir hat die Seite sehr gefallen, auch wenn sie schon lange verwaist ist.


Die Überlegungen zu den verschiedenen Altersstufen hatte ich allerdings rauskopiert. Ich hoffe die ursprüngliche Autorin ist damit einverstanden, wenn ich es jetzt wieder hier veröffentliche.



Baby

The most unusual and delicate role for me to play is that of an infant. I have only done it on less than a handful of occasions and then only somewhat grudgingly after swimming in subspace for awhile. I fight this role a lot. It is an extremely vulnerable situation that I have to be somewhat cajoled into. I have found some of the incidents to be very emotionally satisfying though. The baby role puts me in the headspace of a preverbal child 2 yrs old or under. The baby reacts to things in very simple ways. The world confuses her and she only knows if she is enjoying something or not enjoying it.

Clothing

The standard piece of equipment for adult baby play is the diaper. It seems like Attends are the most "diaper like" of all the products out there. Aside from that I have only worn a baby blue soft sheer baby gown with lace on it.

Hair/Makeup/Perfume/Nails

I wouldn't mess with this stuff. I may have on very very light makeup. I like the idea of hair ribbons or barrets. The smell is easily acquired by a lot of baby powder and the use of other baby products.

Accessories

At this age you just can't be without a proper pacifier, bottle, and stuffed toy of some sort. I like the very elegant types that are more decorative and made for very wealthy people's children. I like things like silver decorative baby spoons and brush sets...intricate and lacy baby books with pictures.

Attitude

I am always MAD when someone tries to put me into baby space. I get REALLY tricky about trying to evade it in any way possible. I pout, crack jokes, rage, and react in all kinds of unpredictable ways. Once I am there though....it is really a very peaceful and nurturing place to be. I usually play a very confused and clueless infant that just reacts to her environment and takes joy in very simple things.

Partner's role

When I am in this role sexual stuff is really a violation. I HAVE had sex in this role and had it work for me in a rather intense way...but I don't think that it is something I would seek out a lot. I need tenderness and nurturing when I am in this role. Any discipline, extreme behavior, bdsm, or sexual stuff is going to effect me in a really amplified way that may make me feel very sad and violated.

Scenes

I like tender things like bathing, tucking me into bed, telling me stories, and yes.....even the dreaded diapering (although I myself don't go in for the messing of diapers...just the wearing of them as props).

Motivation

Well, I am usually only in this role if my partner takes me there. It is not an easy one for me to go to and it embarrasses the hell out of me even to speak of it. It isn't that I find anything wrong with it...it is just that I am very vulnerable beyond words while I am in it. I have found that it is an attractive concept to me at times and I WANT to be pushed into it because it allows me to rage and then just let go of all my sense of shame, responsibility, and adult thinking and take some unconditional nurturing. This is not some light play activity for me. It is a heavy psychological event that can act as a kind of therapy. I establish an incredible trust with my partner after such a thing and a feeling of well being and calm that are hard to describe. It is not a sexual high at all really...but a psychological one.

Toddler

The toddler I play is between 2 and 4 years old. It is an odd balance of elements for me. I have very tender moments at this age...and I have very predatory ones too. Many times I will actually seek to be the Dominant partner in this role! It is an age of vulnerability and flat out brattiness. I like the ability to use all the "little girl pouting and tantrums" to get things with the intelligence of a big girl master manipulator.

Clothing

I like white ruffle petticoat style panties or pettipants. I like huge petticoats with tons of ruffles and pink satin dresses with yards of lace. I like the white stockings that you can buy with the pink satin bows on the back of them. I think I would like lacy anklets very much too. I need shiny little girl shoes for this...I like patent leather very much for shoes. I don't wear a bra....but I suppose if I had to I would want more of a lacy camisole or white push up bra (don't know why that equates with toddler...I just know it would work for me).

Hair/Makeup/Perfume/Nails

I like to be a little princess extraordinare at this age. I like Shirley Temple style charm. I like my Daddy to do my nails...pink of course. I like pretty child perfume, light makeup with lots of mascara, and my hair decorated with pretty barrettes or ribbons. I tend to fret a lot about things when I am at this age. I throw fits if I don't look right.

Accessories

Let's see...haha. I like peppermint stuff for peppermint kisses everywhere. I also like stuffed toys, suckers, and pretty jewelry. This little girl likes sparkly stuff.

Attitude

This really varied depending on my mood at the time. Sometimes you can't MAKE me get into this role. Other times, it is hard to pull me out of it. When I am in it I can be almost totally silent with humiliation...and vulnerable. Then it is important to kind of coddle to my needs and gently give me orders to follow. Other times I am just an extreme extravert who might take over the whole scene and give all the orders. I am hard to control when I'm like this...if you try to tie me up I'll make it into a game and you'll be lucky if you don't end up being the one tied. I am very persuasive in this role.

Partner's role

It is important that my partner knows what they want from the experience or I'll end up guiding the whole thing. I don't mind that at all...but it better be what they are looking for. I like a ruthless hot/cold father figure when I am being an extravert. I like him to MAKE me behave. When I am feeling like a very quiet and shy girl I need him to still be very firm and threatening...but also cajoling and sensitive at times. This is not an easy role for my partner I'm sure:)

Scenes

I like to be cuddled, worshipped, and coddled to in this role. Then I like my partner to make demands and I like to refuse them till I get punished horribly (or not so horribly...but I sure like to act like they are about killing me...haha).

Motivation

I really have very little clue here. I think that part of it is that I was never a frilly little girl and this is my chance to play dress up. Also, I was never really a demanding child and I wasn't doted on...so maybe this is part of that. I always behaved as a child too, so I never needed to be corrected and wouldn't have dared to act anything like the child I play as an adult. It is kind of fun to feel the thrill of not behaving and of watching someone cave to my demands.

Kindergarten

One of the most vulnerable and innocent types of ageplay I like to engage in is the Kindergarten girl. She is 5 or 6 years old and bright eyed. She is past potty training and babyish behavior but she is still very much a vulnerable child ready to curl up on your lap and listen to stories. She sees adults as heroes and endless suppliers of wonder and fun. She is very confident but can be very shy at times around strangers. I think that it appeals to me to play such a little girl because it allows me to safely be innocent...innocent in a way I never truly was. It is fun to sink into a world of make believe where everyone is your friend, you Daddy is your hero, and nothing bad ever ever happens that isn't fixed in the end. As an adult I am rather a cynic...as a REAL child I think I was even more so. It is nice to escape then...into a world of frivolity and kindness... if only for awhile.

Clothing

I like all types of clothing at this age. I, unfortunately, haven't been in enough situations where I have been able to play this girl so I don't have much of anything to wear for it. I think my favorite bit of clothing at this age that I own currently is a pair of pink long john style night clothes with a bit of floral fabric on them. They seem very much like children's footie pjs. They seem a bit more "grown up" though...like a young girl trying very hard to be sophisticated in her own childish way. Wearing these slightly oversized pjs with nothing but bare feet makes me feel indisputably six years old again. I feel like I want to be read a story and tucked into bed when I wear them. I also like my blue silky (almost sheer) blue nightgown that has the feel of a child's nightie. It seems like some indulgent piece of clothing that a good father would buy his pretty child. Other fun things to wear would be a type of denim jumper, overalls, skirts and sweater sets, and pretty soft childish dresses. Underneath I would like to wear training bra style simple white bras or lacy indulgent things that seem innocent. Undershirts would be excellent...perhaps a nice lacy camisole. The underwear would have to be white or pastel. I happen to like cotton a lot for the feel of that age, but I am sure that something a little silky with lace would be nice too. I think it would be really fun to find a camisole/panties set in polka dots...but I haven't found one that I like yet. Maybe someday I'll get it if I'm good:)

Hair/Makeup/Perfume/Nails

I have short hair that I wouldn't style for this role. I think I would like to wear ribbons or pretty little girl barrets in my hair to go with my outfit. I think it would be fun to have lovely little rhinestone pink and white barrets to wear with a dress up outfit. I also like kids jewelry for this age. I like all the make believe princess stuff you find in a child's "dress up" kit or a dimestore section for kids. I think my makeup should be very soft and almost non existent to play this age. I like to smell of baby powder and vanilla... I bathe in baby wash to get that nice child scent. I think it would be fun to do some playful nails. I like pink nailpolish for this age...or clear gloss. It would be fun to do some "crazy nails" from children's nail kits though.

Accessories

At this age I really want my teddy bear. I like dolls, tea sets, Winnie the Pooh, games, puzzles, little record players, blocks, and such at this age. I REALLY like those little intricate castle toys that fold out and have all these miniature treasures and stuff inside...YAY! Intricate toys in miniature with the "little princess" feel seem to really fascinate me in that mindframe. This is particularly funny because when I was a real child you couldn't have gotten me to play with such things for all the money in the world..haha.

Attitude

I really like very nonsexual cuddly play at this age. I don't like heavy discipline. I like to be innocent and feisty...perhaps a tad too feisty at times. I like to tease and tickle and know that no matter how I act I'm loved and protected. I like to be curious and ask a lot of questions at this age. I also like to be a bit manipulative...but in a sweet way. I like to throw fits for things... not total baby fits...just pouty fits. I generally want to be very cute, innocent, good, soft hearted and curious... It is very bad for me to deal with a lot of sexual stuff or meanness when I am in this mindset.

Partner's role

When I am in this role I want my Daddy. My favorite role for Daddy to play is the firm but loving disciplinarian that has a tendency to give into me when I pout. I like him to feel tenderness with me and the need to defend me from all things that might hurt my little feelings. It is fun if my partner sometimes acts a bit manipulative to shock, surprise, or tease me when I am in this role. I like my partner to be VERY cuddly.

Scenes

I like tender caretaking scenes, feisty exploration, and light discipline scenes. The tender caretaking ones can include things like being stroked and kissed tenderly while my parter bathes me and gets me dressed to go out to the park. Then after letting pushing me on the swing is sure to take me home and tuck me into bed after reading me a story and kissing me goodnight. The feisty scenes can be things like sneaking into things and getting caught only to be chased around by a partner who is half joking/half angry parent figure trying to stop me from making more mischief. The discipline scenes have to be real light. They can be things like standing in the corner, having to get a spanking, or getting a lecture.

Motivation

Why be 5 or 6 again? Hmm good question. Well it is fun to PLAY at being that age because it takes all the adult pressures off of me and just allows me to be that bright confident ball of kind heartedness that hasn't learned that the world is a real hard place yet. I think in all honesty it also helps me to experience that feeling of unconditional caring that I have many times lacked in my life. It is nice to escape into this alternate reality where I can just fling myself into my Daddies arms and and know it will all be okay...cause he can fix it all. This is a role that is difficult for me to go into because betrayal by my partner when I am in this mindset really hurts...hurts in a very primal and heartfelt way. When it is done properly though it relieves me of stress, makes me feel happy, and allows me to go back to being an adult (after I leave role) that is a kinder person inside. It is like...a fresh drink of water for the soul as it were. :)

Schoolgirl

I think one of the most popular roles that people enjoy playing is the schoolgirl. She is usually between the ages of 7 and 12. It is a magical time to recapture. It is a time of innocence that is tempered with some life experience. Here are some particulars about the schoolgirls that I like to play.

Clothing

I like to play a Catholic schoolgirl or a boarding school girl about 12 years old. When I do, I like to wear short skirts in plaids, navy blues, black, and grays. I like them to have pleats, a little slit in the back or to the side on the front. I like to wear a white dress shirt, matching sweater sets, or a t-shirt. With that I like to wear white nylon knee socks, white anklets, or white cotton socks. For shoes I like wearing really outlandish overstated comic book style schoolgirl shoes or mary janes....always in black. There is something about the white knee socks and black shoes that really triggers something in me. Underneath I wear a white satin type bra with some lace on it or a simple almost "training bra" type of bra. I would like to find some little camisoles to wear underneath instead of a bra, they just seem more childlike to me somehow. I also think I would enjoy wearing cotton camisoles underneath if I played a slightly younger age of schoolgirl. I am hunting for a really nice pink satin and lace bra and pink cotton bra to wear. I like the shocking pink feminity beneath something severe. My favorite panties to wear are white sheer nylon with just a hint of lace around the waist and with a satin bow on the front. It is important that they fit right...I hate it when they are too big or too small. I like them to be cut kind of full but not extremely full. I also like white cotton panties with eyelet lace.

Hair/Makeup/Perfume/Nails

I have short hair and when I play a schoolgirl I don't really "style" it too much. I would like to have hair long enough to braid when I play a schoolgirl. It makes me really regret having cut my waist length hair a few years ago. I like to go one of two ways with the makeup. I like to wear a lot and look like a schoolgirl trying to be grown up and sexy or I like to wear just foundation, blush, mascara, and lip gloss (the kind that smells like candy is the best). I like light smelling perfumes or just the smell of something like Johnson's baby wash when I am in schoolgirl mode. I can imagine enjoying wearing something with a really strong scent when I am playing the part of a little seductress though. I like natural gloss, light pink, black, or red nail polish.

Accessories

I enjoy wearing a black leather skinny tie. I enjoy toting little leather backpacks and book bags. Chalk boards, erasers, rulers, and school desks are also fun things for me to be around when I play.

Attitude

I like to play lots of types. Some days I am in the mood to be a really "bad" little girl and disobey and tease the person I play with. I like to let them look up my skirt, let them peek down my blouse, and act innocent and pouty one minute and positively predatory and seductive the next. This little girl sucks on lollipops to show grown men what she can do. That is probably my favorite type of little girl to play.

Another type of girl is the "good" girl that is shocked and offended by anything not sweet and pure. She tries to please and is very quiet and reserved about everything she does. She loves intensely and gets confused about adult topics. She likes to hold her skirt down so no one can peek and buttons her blouse all the way to the top. She'll stop sucking on her lollipop if she thinks you are looking at her strange.

Partner's role

I like a partner to play the part of a teacher, fellow schoolgirl, nun, mother, or father when I am in this role. My favorite role for them to play is the lecherous but loving father. I like them to either fall to the bad girl's charms, punish her for being bad, or be coy and voyeuristic. I also like my partner to reward the good girl, punish her a bit unjustly for impure thoughts, or trick her into doing adult things.

Scenes

I like a variety of scenes in this role from simple outings in which I am "taught" something like manners or pleasing my partner to intense scenes of SIMULATED non-consensual sex. Please note that I AM consenting and dealing within pre-established limits...I feel safe and protected the whole time. We are only PRETENDING that I am unwilling and I have a way to stop the scene by saying one simple safeword if I want.

Motivation

Why would I want to roleplay in the guise of a schoolgirl? Good question, I know that it may seem really insane or sick to someone who doesn't understand. I enjoy it for a lot of reasons. I think I enjoy the forbidden element of combining sexuality with childish elements. There is a certain thrill to be had in the forbidden. I also enjoy playing a little girl that I never was. I have always been very bright, worldly, and serious in my life. When I was REALLY a schoolgirl I passed my days away reading Dante's Inferno, learning yoga, and writing award-winning poetry. It is nice to experience what it would be like to be naive and exploring the world as a "wide eyed" virgin again. The schoolgirl role is not a really vulnerable one to me and it is much more sexual feeling than other roles I play. I like to have a bit of a feeling of being in over my head when I play this role. It is important to note that I do NOT want roleplay as a schoolgirl to recreate my own past or to replay past childhood abuse. I am into it to experience wonder, surprise, passion, and seduction in a unique way that is consensual and creative. I would never in my wildest imaginings condone this sort of behavior around or with a real child. In fact, I would be the first person to agree to executing pedophiles.

Goth Girl

This role I'm not vulnerable at ALL in. In fact, the more nasty and sweaty the better. I play a young teen (between 13 and 15) that is a little hell raising Goth girl. In this role I revel in arrogance, cynicism, snottiness, and rage. It is not a submissive role at all.

Clothing

I like to wear all black and white. Sometimes I wear some metallic or deep jewel tones also as accents...but rarely. A favorite outfit of mine when I'm in this mode is a really tight stretchy short sleeved scoop necked shirt in a shiny black color with a long shiny stretch skirt with a slit up the side. I wear this with five inch platform heels with a tight black satin corset over the outfit. I don't wear a bra or panties under it so my skirt can be lifted and I can have sex while staying in the clothes. I like to wear satin, velvet, latex, and leather when I am in this mode. Another type of outfit that I would wear when I am in this role is a short black leather skirt, a black and white "Spank Me" t-shirt, leather biker jacket, black leather heavy collar, and spike heels. I might wear a garter belt and stockings underneath with a black push up bra and black matching panties.

Hair/Makeup/Perfume/Nails

I like my hair really styled or possibly slicked back. My makeup is typically very pale foundation with heavy eyeliner, black lipstick, and red toned eyeshadow...so I have a hollow look to my eyes. I like to wear the smell of sex on my body or a heavy scent when I dress this way. Black nails are really essential:) I sometimes go for the blood red lipstick and nails thing...but I think the black is much more interesting.

Accessories

I like silver gothic jewelry, collars, and chain.

Attitude

I indulge in being a little cynical snot. I act very self assured even though part of my role is that I am actually incredibly unaware of the consequences of my actions. I like to push my partner when I am in this role. I feel invulnerable and yet part of the game I play with this is that I end up being surprised by what happens to me.

Partner's role

I like my partner to be very manipulative and aggressive. I like them to seem very tempted and obsessed with me and what they intend to do to me one way or the other.

Scenes

I like heavy bdsm scenes when I am in this role. I also like consensual simulated rape and humiliation scenes. A typical scene might involve being told that I'm a tramp er...something:)...and then tied up, put through some kind of painful situation, and then "raped". I will once again state that this is NOT a situation of nonconsensual harm...but of consensual roleplaying so it is not at all the act of aggression and terror that real rape is. With that in mind, I like my partner to roleplay that they will hurt me if I don't do what they say and for them to somehow humiliate me (like using nipple clamps and making fun of me when they take them off and the pain hits).

Motivation

This one is just fun. I don't know of anyone else that plays this kind of a character when they are in a younger age role. It is great to be able to tap into that part of me that can be snotty and over confident and let it just take over. It is also fun to act predatory and yet still end up getting "taken advantage of" by an older and wiser predator. I guess this is one way to work out a lot of aggression and do a lot of heavy physical stuff that lets me vent. When I get done with this kind of play I feel playful, energetic, and kinder than I did before I did it.

Highschool

This role doesn't have a lot of psychological significance. I play a girl between 16 and 18 years old that has a bit of a "princess" complex. She likes being a tease.

Clothing

I would like to get a cheerleader outfit for this role...but I will deny it if you confront me with that fact..haha. I also think it would be fun to get a prom dress for this role. Most of the time I would wear kind of innocent but flirty dresses, short skirts, and tight pastel sweaters. I think of this character as a flirty prom queen from the 50's.

Hair/Makeup/Perfume/Nails

It would depend on what social occasion she is dressing for. It would be simple and fitting a woman that is trying to pass as respectable in the 50's though. The perfume would be light and the nails would be polished with light colors ..most likely pink.

Accessories

I think she would wear gold colored jewelry, pearls, and very small earrings possibly. I think a charm bracelet or anklet would be fun in this role. A chiffon scarf could be a blast too:) Anklets and saddle shoes could be really cute too.

Attitude

She is a bubble gum blowing prom queen tease. She is concerned with appearing proper while she manipulates with sexual tension all the time. She "accidentally" is suggestive and sometimes she stuffs her bra. She doesn't know the meaning of the word "No" when someone else uses it...but she sure uses that word a lot herself!

Partner's role

I like my partner to act as a kind of enforcer of proper behavior or as a corrupter of innocence. I like them to trick her or force her into things that she protests. Then I like them to indulge her and apologize for being such a brute while they secretly plot to do more. This is a great spanking role.

Scenes

Spanking scenes, humiliation, teasing, tickling and groping, holding down, threatening, or promising privileges or gifts for sexual behavior are really great when in this role.

Motivation

I like the teasing inherent in this role. I also like the getting gifts and presents as someone attempts to manipulate me into touching them. It is actually a pretty powerful role most of the time...as if I am a child wielding the full weaponry of an adult woman.

Boy

I have never actually played a little boy but it is something I think I'd like to try. All of the below is pure conjecture. I don't even know the ages I would like...I think I'll go with the concept of an 8 year old boy.

Clothing

I think I would like to wear overalls and a kind of 70's style t-shirt with great big clunky tennis shoes. I would have to wear boy's underwear of course:)

Hair/Makeup/Perfume/Nails

I think I would not do anything with any of this...just keep everything natural and my nails short.

Accessories

Hmm..maybe a ballcap. That might be fun. It may be fun to have a nerf bat that gets used on me as discipline too... I would of course have to be "packing"...I think I would wear a leather harness with a rather smallish dildo that I could wear under my clothes without being too obvious.

Attitude

I have no idea what attitude I'd find. I think I would be goofy, silly, and awkward.

Partner's role

I'm not sure...but I think I would like a male crossdressing mom in this scenario. Gee, how many kinks can you combine at once? *smirk* I think she would have to be angry and manipulative acting. I think I would like her to be a bit like a frustrated housewife that decides to act inappropriately in discipline and sex with her child.

Scenes

I think I would just like to be a rather free spirited boy who gets tricked into doing things by his "Mommy dearest" style mother. I think I would like be "fooled" into having sex with her. I imagine receiving some rather extreme discipline in this role.

Motivation

I think my sense of humor is in here somewhere. I think this would be a goofy, fun, and silly scene to do. Part of me is a definite court jester so acting like a free spirited boy child would be fun. I think that I would like to play a child that wasn't very bright....I'm not sure why. Do I have to be able to explain everything?...Geez! :)

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